This is the first in a set of articles written for you to recognize if someone is grooming you for the wrong reasons or crossing a line in your life. As Dr. Leslie Brothers says “We must be smarter than the criminals to recognize their tactics.”
It is true most attacks (approx. 70%) happen from someone you know. How can this happen? One of the answers is we let down our boundaries. We let them in our world and trust them. How can we live a normal life and trust people but not get hurt? The answer is having boundaries. Boundaries are a good thing in all relationships. Sometimes when someone crosses those boundaries we blow it off and convince ourselves that we are the problem and we should not judge or we should just “be nice”. Judging is not the issue. It is knowing respect for ourselves and recognizing if someone has respect for you. If someone is crossing your boundary line they do not respect you. “Being nice” is really is not the issue here either. Really caring for someone sometimes require standing up for what is right. If someone is doing something unhealthy to you, themselves or someone else it requires a real friend to tell them the truth.
It requires a person to have a good self image to know when someone crosses those boundaries. One of the wisest things someone once told me is that I need to work on myself first. If I am not healthy inside and out I can not be an effective wife, mom, friend or anything else in my life. You need to grow and develop yourself every day. Do something your enjoy. Join a group that will love and support you. Learn a new skill. Find something that will help you. Fight like a Girl classes are an awesome support group. The camaraderie in the class is amazing. We give a free week for every visitor. Also, one of the best books I’ve read about boundaries is the book below. Develop boundaries in your life. It will be one of the best things you could ever do for yourself and those around you. Be safe!